The present

I had a lovely Christmas. Lately I do not like being alone at all, so it was nice to have several extra visiting humans in tow. Nephew Tony got me a very thoughtful present: a purple with yellow trim plastic cube that allows for total privacy. Though I much appreciate the gesture, I’m not up to doing very much these days.

My sole nutrition comes mostly through a syringe filled with lactose free whole milk and special prescription food. I was feeling very weak yesterday but I managed to wait at the door for the humans to come home from work. Then I was whisked off for fluid treatment and steroids at the vet. They checked my heartbeat and pronounced it sturdy. The tech said maybe I was having a bad day and the fluid treatment would kick in.

I came home to cuddle and try to get about. Jen wrapped me in towels for warmth and I slept fitfully in her arms all night.This morning I have not been able to pick up my neck, and my back legs are very wobbly. I took pain meds and am sleeping on my whale. There’s no beauty in death, only resignation, at best.

Jane during the holidays

Well, I’m still on Palladia, fluid treatment, appetite stimulants and Prednoisone.

And I’m still here, even if my right eye no longer is. It’s a common outcome to radiation. So I’ve had to add partial blindness to my long list of surprises to adjust to. I do bump into things, so I have to be careful where I go.

Next month will be 1 year since I was diagnosed with squamous cell carcinoma. Just being here nearly a year later is a feat in the face of this most combative opponent.

For those of you concerned, I am not in any pain. Though I’m skinny as a scarf, I do manage to enjoy my food, just not as many times a day as in the past. And then there’s this pesty thing called “cancer wasting,” when the cancer steals the calories ingested from food for its own selfish purposes of growing like a beanstalk. Hopefully the Palladia is stealing Cancer’s oxygen supply so that it deflates like a burst balloon. Well, tis the season for flights of fantasy.

Jane sleeping in snow

When I’m not resting, I’m generally my old self, taking comfort in a human lap, and the fake snow under the Christmas tree, which by the way, has been the warmest place to be these days as winter temps have finally been giving steamy South Florida a break. (See photo).

Enjoy the holiday season, my friends!

A thankful Jane

I’m now getting subcutaneous fluids on an every-other-day basis to keep my bony but still viable body hydrated. Water is at the core of life, for it has certainly revived mine. (Thank you Ollie and Holly for the suggestion!)

Just a mere few weeks I was on the brink of a final exit when my primary vet suggested that I come in for a regular schedule of fluids and meds. After a week of such benevolent treatment, I was back to the land of the living. No longer was an eye dropper called upon to deliver necessary nutrients. I had started a comeback tour, gradually slopping up tasty morsels on my own. To think of the indignity I had to endure when feeling too poorly to feed myself. But I’m lucky to have had such efforts made on my behalf, or undoubtedly I would have starved.

I’ve even come out of the closet. I still on occasion take up refuge there, but for the most part I feel comfortable in my old stomping grounds downstairs. At night I’ve taken to relaxing on John’s lap. He appears most honored by this recent development. It’s good to be appreciated.

I’ve also discovered a cozy pillow bed that Elmeria kindly offered me in a spare room that she usually holes up in. Though we’ve never had much to say to each other in the past, when I was ailing Ellie was quick to extend a helping paw. So I no longer mind being in the same room as the old deaf girl. That brown furry bed is actually quite comfortable.

Hope everyone is enjoying the holiday season! Good health to all, my friends.